top of page

Rockets attempting to wean young team onto solid foods

Having put his shooting guards down for their nap, Rockets head coach Stephen Silas laid out plans for a formula-free roster by the end of training camp. “We had some real wins last season that I want us to build on. We were able to use Jalen’s performance in the Slam Dunk contest to teach him how to count to 9, and we're starting to see some progress on breaking Kevin’s dribbling habit. This offseason it's all about nutrition, and I promise you that very soon these kids are going to eat.” As with any young team, there have been a lot of sleepless nights involved, and some members of the organisation seem to be dealing with it better than others; one assistant chuckled as he recounted a delirious Tillman Fertitta openly discussing paying the tax. “It’s going to be a challenge”, Silas admitted, bouncing the newly-drafted Jabari Smith Jr. on his knee. “But they’ve already come a long way. Just last week Alpie said his first word, and we’re all so very proud of him”. Rockets staffers were unable to confirm the exact word, but insisted it “sounded really Turkish, trust me”.


bottom of page