Raptors waiting for Knicks to unchain Quickley from bench

The first major trade of the 23/24 NBA season between the New York Knicks and Toronto Raptors is reportedly being held up as Immanuel Quickley is still shackled to the Knicks bench. “Thibodeau is the only one with the key,” acknowledged a sheepish Garden staffer, as he gestured at the forlorn figure of Quickley on the sideline - a familiar sight for many Knicks fans this season. “He and Taj [Gibson] are in his office watching 2011 Bulls tape again, and he won’t come out.”

Quickley is not alone in this predicament, although he is the only player who can expect imminent release - another figure looked up desperately as this reporter approached the sideline. “Put me in coach! I promise I’ll never miss a three again,” begged a 6’5” figure with wild eyes and a collar around his neck. “That’s Quentin,” sighed the staffer as we walked past. “You can see he’s on a very short leash.”

For their part, the Raptors said they are excited for Quickley to eventually make his way across the border, although they are expecting to need to bring him along slowly as he recovers from his Playing for Thibs Stress Disorder.