NBA owners lament privileges of the few

NBA owners are reportedly up in arms at recent financial splurges by Joe Lacob and Steve Ballmer, with some suggesting that wealth disparities inevitably lead to an uneven playing field. “When a small minority of individuals have access to such enormous spending power, you have to think that the system shouldn’t really be allowing that”, griped Phoenix owner Robert Sarver, from a video call aboard his favourite private jet. “It’s not like these guys work harder than us, or are more valuable than us. We all contribute to a shared league - shouldn’t we all benefit accordingly?” Sarver pointed to the league’s existing wealth redistribution scheme as a good first step towards rectifying the divide. “Honestly, without the hundreds of millions of pounds that flow from the most affluent to the struggling, I think there would be some owners struggling to feed their pedigree hounds”, he grumbled. “What’s worse is that fans see this behaviour and expect us all to be so reckless. We’re barely scraping by - if I went $50m over the cap every year I’d be broke within 25 years!”. Sarver had to cut the interview abruptly, disembarking the jet for a lunch with his accountant to discuss his offshore accounts.