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Golden State Warriors unveil new '0 timeline' plan

Following reports that Jonathan Kuminga has lost faith in his ability to reach his full potential under coach Steve Kerr, the Warriors front office yesterday officially confirmed their new ‘0 timeline’ plan: simultaneously pivoting away from both contenting now and developing the future. “What you are witnessing is the next stage in a masterfully executed plan,” said majority owner Joe Lacob, whose investment company purchased the Warriors in 2010. “The great, great venture capitalists who catch a lucky break, ascribe it to brilliance and then slowly drive a company into the ground chasing gains - that’s not an accident. And none of this is an accident either.” 

Lacob praised the coaching staff who have carefully managed the minutes of young players to painstakingly remove any illusion of a new homegrown title contender in the near future. “It’s a delicate balance to strike,” admitted coach Kerr. “I could give Moses [Moody] NBA reps any time I wanted, but it’s a tough call when you risk jeopardizing a .500 record and a couple of play-in games from the 10th seed.” 

Sources close to Kuminga said that the approach was difficult for him to stomach, and was wasting his upside in transitioning from merely a mid-tier role player into a higher-end role player.


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