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GMs warned against answering phone after dark following spate of grisly Danny Ainge trade offers

General Managers across the league have reportedly been advised to remain inside with phones unhooked after nightfall, following a brutal trade bearing an eerie similarity to the bloodbaths orchestrated by Boston GM Danny Ainge in the early 2010s. “He’d been quiet for a while, and maybe we were lulled into a false sense of security”, sighed one GM on the phone from a safe house in an undisclosed location. “The younger generation don’t remember Brooklyn 2013, but it took the NBA community years to recover. One generation’s tragedy is another’s punchline, I suppose.” With multiple first round picks and minimal protections for a superstar on the downward slope of their career, the trade bore all the hallmarks of Ainge moves during the peak of the horror in Massachusetts; murmurings around the league suggest that this may not be an isolated incident. One Eastern Conference GM shivered as he reported a phone call from a Utah area code the night before, demanding seven first round picks for Donovan Mitchell. The re-emergence of Ainge also seems to have spawned copycat GMs in his original hunting ground of Boston - one front office has been left in critical condition after giving up Malcolm Brogdon in a deal centered around Aaron Nesmith.


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