Desperate Tom Thibodeau spotted at military base offering starting minutes to veterans

Hours after the breakdown of a trade which would have sent a large number of the New York Knicks’ young players to the Utah Jazz, head coach Tom Thibodeau was seen at the Fort Hamilton military base frantically searching for veterans to play over Immanual Quickley, Quentin Grimes, Obi Toppin and Cam Reddish. “Tom simply wants what’s best for the team,” stated a Knicks spokesman, as the jarring melodies of JD & The Straight Shot wailed in the background. “I can tell you right now that he is incredibly excited by the production these young players will bring next season in a maximum of 20 minutes per night. He has a lot of belief in them as exclusively spot rotation players and no-one cheers louder than he does when they come off the bench to replace an exhausted 31-year-old journeyman.” The spokesperson was adamant that recruitment was not the sole purpose of the visit for Thibodeau. “It’s a spiritual visit too. Fort Hamilton means a lot to Tom - as an aging institution whose theories on defense date back to the US Civil War, it’s a place that he draws real inspiration from.” At the time of publication, it did not seem like Thibodeau was having much success; one veteran informed The Airball that they turned down the offer because they believed that future active tours would likely be less damaging to their body than playing starting minutes for Tom Thibodeau.